Ok everyone, get out your calendars. Good. Gotta pen? Excellent. Now, put your writing utensil over the square for April 2, 2001 and draw a line straight through to April 8, 2001. Did you do it? Great. Now, just above that line I want you to write, (in big bold print, ok?) KELLI HAD AN AWESOME WEEK! Feel free to add as many exclamation points as you want. (I added five, at least.)

You're probably thinking "So what? Who cares? Jeez, Kel. What's the big deal?" Well I'ma gonna tell ya...

I have been feeling lousy for a very, very long time. I'm talkin' years here. I've wanted to just sleep for days at a time, occasionally craved the option to just crawl into a hole (or under my desk) and not come out. I was cynical, jaded (ja-ja-ja-jaded, I'm the one who jaded you) and just wanted to be left alone. I felt strung out, uptight, and unable to relax. It didn't feel like I was ever getting anything accomplished, and like I was doing everything all at once. I didn't feel all of that all at one time, though, and not every single minute of every single day.

I've begun feeling better lately. I'm quicker to smile now. I don't feel the need to be by myself as much, and I'm not so very tired anymore. I'm still getting things accomplished, but I'm not stressing out over every little detail. It's so cool!

I'm becoming the person I want to be, and I'm liking myself more.

Now, that's not to say that things are all rosy in K.J.Bean's camp. I'm working with a "chiro-cracktor" for my back, Punkin still has her "three year old moments," and by the time I got home from work the other night, I didn't feel good at all and just wanted to curl up on the couch with a blanket and a pillow and just veg out.

The thing is, my hope has been restored, with hope comes faith. Now that the funk is well and truly gone, the light and love have taken over.

Either that, or I've had a touch too much caffeine this week.

current entry
previous
next