You and I have had some strange days in the last few weeks. It seems as though you listen to everyone except me. I'm not the only one who has noticed it. Are you trying to tell me you need more time with me?

We were out last Sunday going to stores and running errands. You played in the McDonald's Playland for about 30 minutes, and had a lot of fun. I had a great time watching you climb up so high. The bigger kids weren't watching where they were going, and when one of them accidentally stepped on your hand, I wanted to take him out myself. Instead, I came around to where you were and scooped you off the equipment into my arms, kissed your little fingers and comforted you the best I could. Some of your tears were from fatigue. You're a busy preschooler lately and stopped taking naps on the weekends ages ago, whether you need them or not.

Last week we received an invitation to your first "friends" party. My initial reaction was to say no. I'm not sure why that was. For a flicker of a moment after reading the invitation, I thought "Oh, she's too young for that." Then I realized that you are most definitely not too young for that. In fact, we probably should have had your own "friends" party for your last birthday. We asked you if you wanted to go to Marissa's birthday party. Your whole face lit up and you said "Yes!" The next day you told Marissa you would be at her party, and asked her if she would come to yours (even thought it is still 8 months away). Marissa said yes and you excitedly ran over to me to tell me your good news. Your face was just beaming with excitement. That night you asked if we were going to Marissa's party "ta-night." At that time, the party wasn't for another week or more.

I really enjoy your company. Have I told you that? We have been watching "tapes" together more lately, and we've played with a couple of preschool age "games" on our computer. Whether you are sitting right next to me, holding my hand while we watch one of your "tapes" or sitting on my lap while playing a preschool age "game" on our computer, I can think of nothing I'd like more. You've become quite the "cuddler" lately, and I love it.

I have about a dozen or so pictures of you scattered all over my workplace, the majority of which are on my desk. They chronicle your life from when you were a newly christened chubby five-month old in your proud Daddy's arms, to your latest school picture from last Fall, to the newest picture I have on my computer monitor that I took of you just a few short weeks ago. You are a wonderful gift from God, and I thank Him every day for your existence.

Your Daddy and I love you with all our hearts, and always will. We want you to be the best person you can be. We want you to be able to stand up for yourself, but not become a bully. Be independent, but don't push people away. Be caring, but don't take the weight of other people's burdens upon yourself. Be a dreamer, but a levelheaded one. Be open to new ideas, but don't fall for everything hook, line and sinker. Most of all, we want you to be comfortable with who you truly are, have confidence in your skills, have faith in your ideas, and have conviction in the things you believe in.

We are learning how to be parents as you learn how to become more independent, so be patient with us, ok? We'll make mistakes. Sometimes we'll be too harsh, and sometimes we'll "spoil" you a little (or a lot). I'm finding out it is tough to be a parent. It is difficult to balance how much we love you, how much we want to protect you and keep you "safe" with us, and somehow still teach you how to do things for yourself. Our job as parents is to teach you not to need us.

I remember when you were just a little peanut curled up and sleeping peacefully on my shoulder. I used to just sit with you like that for hours. You were so warm and cuddly and "baby-smelling." When I look into your eyes, I sometimes see the woman you will become. She shows herself only now and then in a look or an expression on your face. She reminds me that you're growing up, while I feel like I'm sitting still.

Millie says that someday I'll have a great friend in you, but that the road to that point will be bumpy. I understand that, although I'm not sure that I'm prepared for that. I just hope that in the end, you still want to hold my hand and share time with me.