I cleaned out Punkin's room last week. I was proud of myself when the task was complete. I'd accomplished one task that had been hanging over my head for a while. I was done. I did it. I was good. Until that evening.

This great undertaking was done while Punkin was not home. How else could I have effectively accomplished this task? I had rearranged the toys in her room, partly to create more space, and partly to hide the fact that some of her toys had, shall we say, gone missing.

Punkin: Mom, why did you move my house? (The Fisher-Price House that she rarely plays with "survived the weeding" and was put out of the way and closer to the other toys. )
Me: Um, well. (thinking) Uh. Because. (ooooo! Good answer, Mom!)

I had also put away some of the four blankets she was using in her bed. Keep in mind, it had been hovering around 85 degrees for a few days, and she's sleeping with four blankets in her bed…

Punkin: Me want the lellow blanket and the bigger blanket.
Me: Sweetie, it's too hot for all those blankets.
Punkin: No, me want the lellow blanket, Mom. (big blue eyes boring into me)
Me: Honey, those blankets are… in the wash.

We recently purchased a new car seat for her. She was creeping up on the weight limit for the one we had been using, and I had hoped that a new car seat would make it easier to pick her up from school and get her into the car. When we were "testing" the new car seat, we still had the old one in the car.

Punkin: Me want to sit dat car seat, Mom.
Me: No Honey, I want you to sit in this new car seat. We bought it 'specially for you. Remember? You helped pick it out.
Punkin: Me want to sit dare, Mom.
Me: You can't sit in that one, Little Clown.
Punkin: Why?
Me: (thinking) Well… it's broken.

I had told her these white lies so often over the weekend that I began to wonder about it. Lying is wrong. I know that. I don't like doing it, and would rather be vague on a topic than tell a lie. It bothers me to lie to Punkin especially. How many can I tell her before God says, "Sorry, Kel, you've reached your limit"?

On the other hand, I also know what would happen if I told her the absolute truth.

Toys
Punkin: Mom, why did you move my house? (The Fisher-Price House that she rarely plays with "survived the weeding" and was put out of the way and closer to the other toys. )
Me: So you wouldn't notice that I've put away or gotten rid of half your toys while you were playing at school. You didn't play with the other ones, and you hardly even noticed they were there.
Punkin: But I wanted dose! (tears, her telling me to "GO WAY, MOM!" and a total toddler meltdown ensue, coupled with me wondering if I should have made up something to avoid this scene)

Blankets
Punkin: Me want the lellow blanket and the bigger blanket.
Me: Sweetie, it's too hot for those blankets.
Punkin: No, me want the lellow blanket, Mom. (big blue eyes boring into me)
Me: Mommy put those away because we didn't want you to get heat stroke while you slept and you are not getting them back.
Punkin: But I wanted dem! (tears, screaming "YOU MAKE-A ME SAD, MOM!" and a total toddler meltdown ensue, coupled with me wondering if I should have made up something to avoid this scene)

Car Seat
Punkin: Me want to sit dat car seat, Mom.
Me: No Honey, I want you to sit in this new car seat. We bought it 'specially for you. Remember? You helped us pick it out.
Punkin: Me want to sit dare, Mom.
Me: I don't want you sit in that one. Sit in the new one, please.
Punkin: Why?
Me: Because we just spent $50 on this one so that you and I (hopefully) won't have a battle in the parking lot at daycare when it comes time to get you buckled in. You won't be using that old one anymore.
Punkin: But I want DAT ONE!!! (tears and a total toddler meltdown ensue, coupled with me wondering if I should have made up something to avoid this scene)

So, what do I do? Is it ok to make up white lies about the little stuff, and be up front and honest about the big stuff? Will God really forgive me for lying to our little girl? Will I be able to let go of the guilt I feel when I do lie to her?

Wait, I know… it really doesn't matter, does it? You know, in the grand scheme of things… right? She won't dye her hair five different colors and go rob banks when she's older just because I wouldn't let her have multiple blankets on a Summer night, right? Right?

Yeah. That's what I thought.

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